Karma and camping by the river.

I do believe in karma. I used to say that, inside being only half persuaded about the validity of my statement, however the occurrence of recent events (of which recency could possibly date all the way to more than one year ago) did harden the claim of this conviction. Or maybe now I say it with an air of a little bit more inner sincerity.
Why do I mention karma today?
Yesterday, late in the afternoon, a huge storm came, thunders were scaring everyone under the age of 10 (though I am voluntarily and openly letting myself to admit that I did unexpectedly shake with a hasty dash of fear upon the deep throbbing sounds coming from the skies to shake the ground, an unconscious reaction to reading too much of BBC News Online about North Korea making a playground out of the surrounding pools of Seas and toy Islands)...anyway, the storm came, dark and heavy, with huge raindrops flooding our world from the dusty yellow skies. When I came home for my break, I went straight upstairs to pick up something utterly unimportant from my room and as I entered from the staircase I gasped in horror and my eyes filled with dry unshed tears of helpless frustration of meaninglessness of any actions you decide to undertake at any known moment.
The point is as follows. Last weekend, on Sunday (not mentioning how I had sewn a really nice sleeveless top for myself on Saturday, with nicely worked collar and hand holes (since I said sleeveless I wouldn`t like to term them as sleeves anymore) and trying it on I came to know I had sewn it one or two sizes too small (that`s that for LOHAS on my part)) I spent hours making a pottery Christmas present for my dad-a set of six little glasses for his homemade slivovica, nicely formed, nicely decorated and all. Siince it is a つゆ (tsuyu-rainy season) now in Japan anywhere you go it is very very humid. Anywhere you go, you sweat, whatever you do or don`t do, you sweat, it is enough to open your mascara container and you sweat. However in my house, the most humid space is the downstairs, the kitchen and the lounge and the toilet (peeing you sweat). I used to leave my pottery to dry downstairs but recently, because it has become so so soooo humid I decided to transfer it into my room upstairs for my window is open all the time and thus it could get enough fresh air and dryness and could dry better. I thought. When I walked into my room yesterday, after that big storm I mentioned, the plates with my set of six slivovica cups were filled with water, as much as shallow plates can be, which was still enough to make the cups soaking themselves and also entirely unreservedly destroyed. I didn`t cry but I wanted to. (There wasn`t anyone around to pet me and thus I felt it a waste of perfectly good energy).
To get to the point I am trying to make here, I wasn`t too angry about that more skilled woman in our pottery class stealing my ideas, but she could have asked if it was okay. If she had asked I would have said yes, of course, no problem with a smile on my face.
Anyhow I had reached a point of realization, a revelation of some sort. Thinking positive thoughts at all times is a very very very important thing. I am going to try this from now on and perhaps all will turn better and there will be no soaking pottery and no angry chasing of long lost boots*.

On a completely different note I am going camping tomorrow. With myself and a backpack full of food to survive until maybe even Monday morning (can`t rely on making fire since it`s been raining every single day). It is going to be a purgatory trip, an escape into green silence of the woods and rivers of central Japan in order to try to find myself once again, clear the path of future in my mind, affirm fresh ways of thinking and believing and stop being scared of bears.
Am also taking a book by Salaman Rushdie, Midnight`s Children, a book about knitting, some wool and needles, a knife, toilet paper and a raincoat, some letter paper to reply to Tony`s letter and a bottle of water. Since it is a purgatory process I am aiming at leaving slivovica at home (though am still not wholly convinced this is the right decission).
And on Sunday, if the weather permits, Yuko先生、Sachiko先生　and Miki先生 with their offsprings are coming to join me for a summer barbeque by the river.
I am going to the place of one of the first Hideちゃん and mine dates. Moto Ise Jingu, the shrine of Amaterasu, the Sun Goddess.


*referring to the `I still don`t have the burnt hiking boots I have left at Chiiori once a long time ago` chapter of my life.